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Posted by / Monday, March 16, 2015 / 8 Comments

MM: Letting go of the unnecessary

Hi Guys,

I haven't done a Motivation Monday post in ages, mostly because I've been searching for some motivation of my own. Things have not been the greatest and I'm not exactly having the time of my life right now, but in everything I'm trying to remain thankful.

The kind of relationship I have with God is such that, when he tells me something and I'm being very blind and oblivious, he teaches me a proper lesson as he shows me. By that time, I'm definitely learning the hard way but I'm learning regardless, so it's all good. One of the things he's taught me recently and I really want to share is the need to let go of unnecessary friendships. See ehn, your life was given to you for a purpose. It's bad enough that some of us may not have figured out this purpose. Then we now have some friends that are not adding anything to this purpose, infact they leave us drained and worse off, make us do things we have no business doing in the first place. Some friends you have are just there to alleviate boredom, your drinking and gossip buddies....they have no positive effect in your life but yet you keep them around. Why exactly?

I have let in so many characters into my life that did not deserve to be there and until God forcibly removed them, I was clueless and just going with the flow. The other day, one of these characters buzzed me so we could hang out. I'm like, to what aim please? We have nothing constructive to discuss and you always put me down every chance you get. I'm done allowing that into my life.

Now when people buzz me to hang out, (which I like, don't even get it twisted...yes dbanj :) ) , I think about it a couple more times. Is this person really my friend? Does he/she help me/make me better in any way? Do I constantly doubt/question myself when I'm around him/her? Do I always feel bad every time we spend time together? Does he/she make me feel low when we're together? Do I have to psych myself to be with this person/answer the phone when he/she calls? If you find yourself answering yes to even one of these questions, you need to reconsider that friendship/relationship. 

This also applies to exes. I'm a firm believer in leaving the past in the ex is an ex for a reason, never forget that. Except in rare cases, and you really need wisdom and the spirit of God to discern such cases, going back to your ex never ends well. I get that it's your comfort zone, something familiar, especially when you're lonely and bored and tired of seeing people all coupled up. But you just end up prolonging the moving on process.

I have a couple of unnecessary friends and I'm letting them go because I do not need them in my life. I have pretty fantastic and amazing friends already (you guys included!) so I'll be ok without the extra hanger-ons. You will too.

Kisses xxx


  1. Thank you, Thank you, Thank you!
    An ex is an ex for a reason has been resounding in my heart and head the past few days and although like you things have not been the greatest in the recent times; i always get the nudge in my spirit that God's plans are always better and bigger than we can see (as most times we are beclouded by our present situation and literally cannot see beyond the present), so going back in the past just to feel good for the now is not God's idea and ideal for us when we go through tough times!
    As for the unnecessary friends, am glad i learnt that early in Life that its Quality friends over quantity and although i agree that there are still a few people that have absolutely no business being in my life; i am learning to cut them off bit by bit (like a baby being weaned off breast milk).
    May God help us to live as he intends for us to live and to choose to please Him above any other.

    1. Amen! He'll continue nudging and teaching us till we get it right. Thanks for your comment...You have no idea how much you've encouraged me :)

  2. Preach sister girl! I agree with you 1 millon % I do something called a life detox where I analyse roles people play in my life and decide if they are deserving or beneficial to me. Anyway before I turn this into a mini comment, God is always looking out for us and he will surely remove miscreants from our lives :D


  3. Sometimes one has to walk alone, if it means keeping a clear focus of priorities. Also, one might need to let go of the past-including people, in order to make room for newness of things.


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