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Posted by / Monday, October 26, 2015 / 21 Comments

The Most Embarrassing Story Ever

Helloooo...

Remember me saying I had a lot of non-blogging related stuff to share with you in my last post but I was too busy? Ok, scratch that. That's the mentality that has led me blindly down the rabbit hole of procrastination for so long and today I'm escaping from it.

So I want to share a story with you guys for 3 reasons; One, I try to keep my personal life private, but I find myself wanting to know more about the bloggers I follow...not because I'm nosey (maybe I am), but on some level, I feel like I know them after seeing so many pictures and reading what they write. I always wonder what they do when they aren't blogging and so I thought I'd share some more personal stuff with you guys. Two, I've made a ton of mistakes and learnt so many things in 27 years...if someone else is saved the embarrassment of making these same mistakes through hearing my experiences, then I'm fine. Three, it's a really entertaining story and I've come to enjoy telling it...lol.

So, many years ago, I was in a relationship with this guy. He took me out for lunch one weekend...we dropped my sister off at Silverbird and then we went to Prime Chinese in VI. It was my first real date...they brought the food with the sticks and I didn't know how to use them, so I kept staring at the food. I froze because I was sure I would embarrass myself and I would look stupid for not knowing how to use the chopsticks, so I just kept staring. Thinking about it now, I have no idea why looking stupid worried me, maybe because to me then he was the perfect "cool kid". I just didn't know how to be myself around him. Anyways, he got upset and asked that the waiter pack the food up and we left. By this time, it was raining heavily and VI was flooded to my knee. The car was so quiet for like 20 minutes, neither of us spoke. Then he found a place to park and started shouting at me. I started to explain, but his voice just kept climbing and I was starting to get worried. I didn't say another word and when he got tired of talking, he started the car again. Then he continued shouting. At this point, I just wanted to go home. He picked me from my house so I assumed we would pick my sister up from the movies and he'd take us back home. Because, this girl couldn't afford to take a taxi home. 

Sidebar: never leave your house without vex money.

Anyways, by the time we got close to Sbird, you could literally hear him screaming at me from outside the car. The next thing I heard was "get out of my car". Remember, it has raining cats and dogs, it was so flooded that water was beginning to get into the car and as if that wasn't bad enough, I was wearing light wash jeans. Kai. I'm like, are you kidding? Get out to where? But he kept screaming and I had to do as he asked. The recharge card vendors and security men in front of the Sbird started begging him on my behalf "Oga, no vex. Abeg forgive Aunty no matter wetin she do. Abeg no disgrace am like dis". He just kept shouting. While I was trying to pack my stuff up, he threw N2,000 at me for a Taxi. At this point, I literally wanted the ground to open up and swallow me...but I got down and threw the money back at him. Pride. A hell of a thing, considering I didn't even have N100 at the time. But I knew I would rather walk to the mainland than take his money.

Fortunately, one of the people watching the whole thing was a friend of my sister's. She quickly put some money in my hands and asked me to go home. I went in to get my sister but guess who was there again? The same guy. Like, he actually parked his car and followed me in and continued shouting. I walked out on him and asked him to not call me ever.

Fast forward to about a month after, we were back together. Girls, we never learn sha. Was what I did normal or right? Nope. Did I deserve the way I was treated? I don't think so. Dude had a bad temper and this wasn't the first time it had shown itself. My friends had mentioned it to me on some occasions and I constantly walked on eggshells around him so as not to offend him...I couldn't handle that side of him. That day, if we weren't in a public place, I think he might have hit me. But yet I still went back to him.

I don't believe that a guy just hits his wife out of the blues in a marriage. She saw the signs, she just chose to ignore them because everybody else is in a relationship and is getting married, she can't be left out. 

The learning points; Stop taking crap, you deserve better. People generally show you who they are, believe their actions and stop making excuses for their behaviour. When you go out with a guy, ALWAYS carry enough money with you for your food and to take you home. Better to not need the money than to need it and not have it. Be proud because you're beautiful, you work too hard to be tossed around and you deserve the very best.

Hope you were at least entertained by this :D

XXX

21 comments:

  1. So I know this story but reading it again I can't believe you had to go through this for "that guy" Anyway, one thing we agreed on is that you deserved way better!

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    1. I know right? I never understood why you and Uy never liked him but now I'm like, What was I thinking? Lol.

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  2. What a jerk! Who does that? Hiss my dear, we've all done some stupid things I take solace in the fact that I've learnt and I can look back at those situations and laugh!
    Thank God for progress and sense 😀😀

    www.vievebutterfly.com

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    Replies
    1. Thank God for sense oh! Thank God for the laughs too...at least we have some good stories to tell :)

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  3. I am so glad you shared your story and I hope it helps someone out there. Some guys are just absolute idiots and I am so glad you left his sorry ass!! I am fuming on your behalf!! Thank God for you o jare...kisses...xx P.S. I am totally like you; I love reading personal stories on blogs or about bloggers to get a better insight into their lives!!...xx

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    Replies
    1. Haha...I knew I wasn't just being nosy. Thank God oh and I hope it does help someone :)

      xxx

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  4. Often times as ladies we take crap from guys 'cos we love 'em too much. I believe in everything we have to learn something new.
    I have learnt to have vex money oooo, for the whole date sef not only for tfare. I can't be washing plates 'cos he got vexed and left.

    Quite fun to read.

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    Replies
    1. Blind love...can't afford to love like that anymore. Thanks for reading Hun :)

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  5. Sigh! Such situations leave you saying never again yet we let the same people creep back in and damage us some more. I hope he never got physical with u. The signs are there. Let's all be careful pls.

    Epiphany29.com
    Alone But Not Lonely

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    Replies
    1. He never did, thankfully. I know, we keep allowing the fear of not finding anyone better rule us and keep us going back to bad relationships. Never again :)

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  6. chei!!! was all i could say as i read this o!!Thanks for getting personal but that guy ehn..he has mind to vex that type of vex o..Thank God for growth and self discovery!You deserve a lot better.
    www.cheecheelive.com

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    Replies
    1. Lol...I was sort of having an out of body experience, watching myself get treated the way I was treated and saying chef too.

      I thank God for growth and discovery of self...I know now I deserve so much better than that.

      Thanks for reading and commenting :*

      Delete
  7. LOL! Spot on pride ��
    I'd rather trek home than collect 2000n cab fare.
    I still don't get why he was just shouting non stop! Like why?
    Honestly there's no abusive marriage that the lady or man in some cases didn't see the signs! Someone just chose to ignore it.
    More posts like this please!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I know, the anger went from 0 to 100 in the blink of an eye...I was stunned.

      Sometimes, all you have left is pride oh, that one I won't allow anyone take it from me ever!

      Definitely more posts like this, thank you for reading :*

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  8. Aww. Thank God you left him. I'm glad you had your pride and self worth that didn't make you take the money. We all learn from experience. And yes vex money is very important. Lol. I actually felt bad for you as I read it. Thank God it's now something you can laugh about and have learnt from. Keep sharing stories ;)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Awwww...thank you! Yes, time has healed that wound for the most part and the importance of vex money cannot be overemphasized.

      Thank God I can laugh about it. More stories coming soon.

      :*

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  10. Hello,

    Wow! I literally just picked up my jaw from the floor.

    No, you did NOT deserve to be treated that way. I am so glad you came out of that experience stronger and wiser.

    I agree with you, the signs of abuse are usually there. When someone shows you who they are the first time, believe them.

    Thank you for sharing this inspiring post. :-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks nedu, for reading and commenting :)

      Glad it's a thing of the past now. Funny thing is, it took me a while to understand that I deserved better. Sometime last year, we got talking again. He still brought up what I did and tried to explain why he was so hurt. I was still blaming myself.

      Thank God for God and for common sense.

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  11. Seriously??? You went back to him??? I hope you ditched him eventually, not the other way around. All these guys sha. Na wa.

    Mira La Belle blog

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    Replies
    1. It was the other way round oh! And I tried to make things right. Lol. I can't even stop thanking God for the way things turned out. Apart from the temper, a lot was wrong in the relationship but I was afraid of being single. Fast forward to today, been single for over 2 years and I'm not dead. Lol.

      Thanks for reading! Nice meeting you :D

      Delete

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