THE THING ABOUT FRIENDSHIPS

Friendship is a hell of a thing. As humans, we’re built to want the company of others (some in larger quantities than others) so friendships are inevitable. I won’t lie and say I haven’t thought of cancelling my friends at some point in the relationship and I have actually successfully done this. But as I became older I realised that it's ok to talk about your expectations and let people know when they cross lines or hurt you and if your friend constantly disregards your feelings, then it's ok to let them go.

So I'm sharing some things I've learnt which I think you might learn from too:

1.  Sometime lines will be crossed. Some of these crossed lines are things that you/the friendship                            can’t recover from, and your friendship may or may never be saved. 

2. You need to know yourself to know these lines. It will form some sort of guide as to what you can and cannot manage. As you go, you will learn some of these things anyways, so it’s ok not to know it all.

 

3. Friendships will teach you forgiveness. And sometimes how awful a person you can be.   Friendships will make you better or worse, and when these things happen, learn from them.

 

4. Friendships will teach you to mind your damn business. If I’m A’s friend and B is also A’s friend, A’s friendship with B is none of my damn business. Until A makes it my business.

 

5. A’s husband or family is off-limits. You cannot be rude to them, disrespect them or speak ill of them. No matter what.

 

6. In the same vein, if anyone speaks ill of you to A and A cannot defend you first but comes for you instead, you ain’t friends like that okurrrrr? (You can tell this one was a very very personal lesson right? LOL).

It’s ok in the heat of the moment to feel like you want to cancel that friend. But it's also ok to  take some time off and have a change of heart when you're less upset/time has passed. 

As stressful as people can be, they can be pretty amazing too. My friends have been there for me in the hardest hardest of times, the times I didn't think I would be able to pick myself up. When you find the right people and have them in your corner, that feeling is amazing. The strength you can draw from them will so much shock you.

Whatever you do, be the kind of friend you want to have.