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Posted by / Friday, September 10, 2021 / No comments



There’s this thing people do with death, I desperately choose to think it’s because death is something we don’t understand and can’t fully fathom. This must be why we sometimes act out of character when faced with it. But you don’t see people act this way when the death hits closer to home, the death of an immediate family member or friend.

How do we watch a woman who just lost her husband, collapse on the ground and scream out in pain, yet we bring out our mobile phones, record and post such a heart-wrecking and private moment on the internet? How do we zoom in so close that her tears are captured in HD for the world to see her pain, pain they probably cannot understand, pain they cannot bear or share, even if they all wished to, pain that can never be lessened? How do we feel comfortable putting out this horror on the internet, floating there forever, for everyone to see, a reminder of the loss that can never be replaced, the rip in her existence that can never be mended?

Life & Death Poem For a Funeral or Passing Friend

Death reminds us of how life can seem fickle and pointless sometimes, other times, it motivates us to live. But why do we only remember at this point that we need to “Live life to the fullest’ because “tomorrow is not promised, today is a gift’ and so you need to “give people their flowers now that they’re here”? I could go on and on, but honestly there’s an endless supply of cliché phrases people dig up when someone passes. We know these things, but they are not things that should be the topic of conversation when someone dies. I don’t even have a problem with being reminded of these things, the problem I have is with the change of subject. 

I think that in issues such as mourning, the focus should be on the person who is gone and helping the family through what must be a trying time, and not on the lessons to learn from his/her death. I think this is only fair for the sake of those left behind. No one wants their sorrow to be the topic of your motivational speech. Grieve with them, support them and be there for them in any way you can; in your kind and comforting words, in material things (food, money, payment for burial services) or by just showing up and being a silent presence). Don’t go posting a long ass sermon on IG for goodness knows whose benefit, just move on or be quiet while others grieve.

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